I took a new night job at a local bar around the corner from me. Last night I mentioned to my husband that I forgot how much some men focus solely on breast when they are talking to a woman.
This particularly annoyed me when I was talking to an acquaintance at the bar, because we had talked before on multiple occasions, previous to my working there, and he had no problem with eye contact. I was relating to said acquaintance that I was excited to be behind the bar again (I have not tended bar in over a year), and lo and behold this fellow all of a sudden forgot where my eyes where.
The minimal eye contact from most of the male consumers last night made me feel a bit upset and uneasy. However, after reading this quick Q & A from the authors of Sex at Dawn, I feel like I can have a new perspective about working behind the bar, and the male ogling.
Pulled right from their site:
Why do middle-aged men risk so much for flings with younger women?
With the caveat that every situation is different, one factor we think deserves more attention is the role of testosterone (T) in middle-aged men’s eroticism. In their twenties, men’s T levels begin a long decline, often experienced as diminished passion and appetite for life. Suppressed T levels are associated with depression, heart attacks, dementia, and overall mortality rates from 88 to 250 percent higher. One of the few things that can reliably and immediately revive a man’s sagging testosterone is exposure to a new woman. One researcher found that even a brief chat with an attractive woman raised men’s testosterone levels by fourteen percent within minutes. In Sex at Dawn, we suggest that many men may be confusing the hormonal changes triggered by an affair with actual “love,” thus leading them to make ill-advised decisions catastrophic to their families, their marriages, and eventually themselves.
– Christopher Ryan, Ph.D. & Cacilda Jethá, M.D., Sex at Dawn.
I can now see my smile, personality, and novelty (and I guess my cleavage!) as something positive to raise my male, 50-80 year aged clientele’s testosterone levels. In doing so, in a safe and respectful environment, I can enhance their sex lives and overall health by raising their “T” levels, simply by smiling and chatting with them, making their wives and partners feel at ease with my charm and delicious martinis, and encouraging them both to discover new things together!
Who said I wasn’t a giver?